Relapse

"Time present and time past

Are both perhaps present in time future,

And time future contained in time past."

- T.S.Eliot

Whatever is the past, will always stare us back in the eye. Regardless of where we go, there will be times when the past shall overwhelm us. There will be times when history shall repeat itself. I think it is a thing with time, it decides to test us. It presents moments when we have to think and say, "do I follow the same path that took me there last time?"

There is always a choice. Always that one decisive moment that will chose the way of life for you. That one moment that will decide what opportunities come your way and what other choices you have. And whatever you chose at that moment will decide your destiny. Shakespeare writes in Julius Caeser, "There is a tide in the affairs of men, Which taken at the flood, leads on to fortune. Omitted, all the voyage of their life is bound in shallows and in miseries."

Is it just that one moment that decides what the rest of our life will be like?

Yes. It does.

The choices you will have in the future are relative to what you decide today. How important then is a small decision, say to go and have ice cream if you meet your future husband or wife over that cup of ice cream.

Is there such a thing as destiny i.e. whatever happens, happens for a reason?

No. There isn't.

There is no such thing as destiny; its all about your choice today if you chose to go have that cup of ice cream then good for you, if you don't then too it is good for you because you live by that choice and there is no room for a "what if"

Then again there are those few choices that present themselves to us repeatedly, they tempt us. Its like alcohol to an anonymous alcoholic, like cocaine to a drug addict back from rehab. I was standing at this crossroad, wondering what to chose. The choice and the fact that it has re-presented itself to me vexes me.

Actually the choice was a cause of worry about 30 minutes ago, I made my choice then. Its the same as last time. I am not proud of it. But the deed is done and whatever happens from now on, is relative to this decision. No point thinking about a "what if?"