Willy is a Wonka!

There is nothing that Roald Dahl doesn't have the answer to!

Haunted By Sleep

My dysfunction life has gone to another level.. I dread going to sleep because my unconscious is darker than the night.. So when I am awake, battling the demons inside, I draw in jealousy - I am jealous of the fact that everyone else can just switch off, they don't have to face their darkest fears every night..

I Am A Coward

Courage is the ability to keep going on although every cell in you tells you that it will be okay to give up and take refuge in a safe place. I don't think I had the courage to go on at that moment - a moment when I gave up. Strangely it takes a lot to admit that somethings are bigger than even you. But one eventually finds the courage to do what is right..

I still feel like a coward, searching for courage in a place that is dark. One day I hope to do the right thing by myself, till then I shall contemplate about the courage I seek.

The Best and The Worst..

Sometimes one person can make or break your world. Bring out the worst and the best in you, leave you living in a world of surreal delusions. Thanks for being that person for me..

Emotionally Stoic: Internally Conflicted

When the inside is so numb that although emotions are experienced inside, they don't manifest themselves physically. A moment of stoicness, of still waters, although what lies underneath the vessel is a sea of monsters. I wish I could cry.

Arguments of Insidious Intent

Sitting at Starbucks I saw 3 men, deep in conversation, arguing silently while keeping the sanctity of their group. It reminded me of these lines from The Love Song Of J. Alfred Prufrock by T.S. Eliot.

"Streets that follow like a tedious argument

Of insidious intent

To lead you to an overwhelming question...

Oh, do not ask, "What is it?"

Let us go and make our visit."

It was weird, I didn't see reason in drawing them, maybe it was the new parallel pen rearing to go, maybe it was the need to make a live drawing, whatever it was it was a good digression from my rather boring and emotionally driven typography assignment which was self-inflicted torture in retrospect. Lately I have been finding solace in sketching people, other people. There is no reason, it is just a place I run to when I am overwhelmed by my reality.

Appeasement

This was painted more than a year ago - at the singapore zoo..!

It depicts the zebra's appeasment gesture also the gesture with which they greet each other showing to the other that they are not a threat and wish to exist in harmony. Horses and zebras are such brilliant creatures I wish I could see just one mustang - a wild horse. I wish that humans had such an appeasement gesture where I could just rub you on the back of your neck and prove beyond everything that I do not mean to harm/ hurt you. Where social dynamics, the past or the awkwardness would not matter. Its time for me to stop fighting, fighting to be in someone's life, fighting to say that I am not a threat - I wish I could end it all with just an appeasement gesture. I am laying down the arms and retreating my forces from the barracks, does it matter? No, because I am human.

Everyone Is Oblivious To My Emotions

For the first time I sketched in almost complete darkness, had very little idea of what I was doing.. felt lost not just on the paper but on Campus too - existentially lost - no one will ever understand how I feel. I can only hope that someday someone will see my work and connect with some of the emotion, maybe not all of what I feel and the context of such feelings but something of what I feel. This is the view of the Halls of Residence 9-10 from the terrace on my block drawn in darkness of mind and eye.

Be The Best That You Can Be

Be the best that you can be,

Yet self-destruct at times,

So that you may eventually see

That being the best you may be

Is something that you were never meant to be...

Because when you self-destruct

You see all the possibilities of who you could be,

You see all those roads that you cautiously never chose

But are now treading on quite gutsily..

Then you realize that who you were meant to be,

Is a thing that changes continuously,

So chose wisely which path you wish to tread

Then the future you shall never dread.

When who you were is not enough..

When you realize that who you were is not taking you forward anymore there is no point trying to be that person because no matter how idealistic and right that person was s/he does not fit into today's context. Sometimes all you need to do is stop, evaluate and adapt, it is the order of nature for even Darwin says, " In the struggle for survival, the fittest win out at the expense of their rivals because they succeed in adapting themselves best to their environment." Let go of what you thought was right and who you were so you can find and be someone better.