Arguments of Insidious Intent

Sitting at Starbucks I saw 3 men, deep in conversation, arguing silently while keeping the sanctity of their group. It reminded me of these lines from The Love Song Of J. Alfred Prufrock by T.S. Eliot.

"Streets that follow like a tedious argument

Of insidious intent

To lead you to an overwhelming question...

Oh, do not ask, "What is it?"

Let us go and make our visit."

It was weird, I didn't see reason in drawing them, maybe it was the new parallel pen rearing to go, maybe it was the need to make a live drawing, whatever it was it was a good digression from my rather boring and emotionally driven typography assignment which was self-inflicted torture in retrospect. Lately I have been finding solace in sketching people, other people. There is no reason, it is just a place I run to when I am overwhelmed by my reality.

Appeasement

This was painted more than a year ago - at the singapore zoo..!

It depicts the zebra's appeasment gesture also the gesture with which they greet each other showing to the other that they are not a threat and wish to exist in harmony. Horses and zebras are such brilliant creatures I wish I could see just one mustang - a wild horse. I wish that humans had such an appeasement gesture where I could just rub you on the back of your neck and prove beyond everything that I do not mean to harm/ hurt you. Where social dynamics, the past or the awkwardness would not matter. Its time for me to stop fighting, fighting to be in someone's life, fighting to say that I am not a threat - I wish I could end it all with just an appeasement gesture. I am laying down the arms and retreating my forces from the barracks, does it matter? No, because I am human.

Everyone Is Oblivious To My Emotions

For the first time I sketched in almost complete darkness, had very little idea of what I was doing.. felt lost not just on the paper but on Campus too - existentially lost - no one will ever understand how I feel. I can only hope that someday someone will see my work and connect with some of the emotion, maybe not all of what I feel and the context of such feelings but something of what I feel. This is the view of the Halls of Residence 9-10 from the terrace on my block drawn in darkness of mind and eye.

Be The Best That You Can Be

Be the best that you can be,

Yet self-destruct at times,

So that you may eventually see

That being the best you may be

Is something that you were never meant to be...

Because when you self-destruct

You see all the possibilities of who you could be,

You see all those roads that you cautiously never chose

But are now treading on quite gutsily..

Then you realize that who you were meant to be,

Is a thing that changes continuously,

So chose wisely which path you wish to tread

Then the future you shall never dread.

When who you were is not enough..

When you realize that who you were is not taking you forward anymore there is no point trying to be that person because no matter how idealistic and right that person was s/he does not fit into today's context. Sometimes all you need to do is stop, evaluate and adapt, it is the order of nature for even Darwin says, " In the struggle for survival, the fittest win out at the expense of their rivals because they succeed in adapting themselves best to their environment." Let go of what you thought was right and who you were so you can find and be someone better.

Perumal Temple, Singapore.

Just needed one interview and this Pandit has already wasted 7 hours of my time and not given it to me.. The interview is for a Graphic Design (GD) Project called Fading Traditions.. Going to break my head with this Pandit soon, so while I was waiting for the Pandit to get back to me, I sketched the Temple, could have water coloured it but it was time to go..

"Time for all the works and days of hands

That lift and Drop a question on your plate;

Time for you and time for me,

And time yet for a hundred indecisions,

And for hundred visions and revisions"

F'kin Perfect by P!nk

I don't know why this song appeals to me, its probably the video or something. I drew this in class while waiting for the tutor to get to me for consultation.. It's Just a doodle, so didn't want to post it but what the hell!

Sketching Trip to National Museum Singapore

After a year and a half of brooding and not sketching much, I finally went on a sketching trip with Urban Sketchers Singapore, It was great to just sit down and do some watercolour, although I agree it could have been better but I am happy that I started. Mom always said "getting ahead is getting started." So here's to a new start.

Are You Lonesome Tonight?

Recently I have learned that feeling alone is natural, but when I drew this I still felt the presence of someone who took all the loneliness away and although he is gone now and I am alone again I am trying to be strong.. strong so that one day soon I can call this loneliness - solitude. Solitude is the glory of being alone while loneliness is the pain in being alone. I need to find strength to deal with this.

So until I have more strength I leave you with this thought, if you are a part of someone's life be there for them like how you promised. It's true that it is wrong for people to get latched onto someone else for support but it is also wrong to deny them that support when then need it the most. Don't become bitter to them, try and be humble and patient. Above all try to find happiness in small moments, I find mine in sketching and music, what's yours?

Have been anticipating the worst lately..

Ever felt that something good shall lead to the worst outcome in your life? I have spent the last few days wondering, anticipating the worst; hoping for the best but always finding myself thinking about something that could potentially make things better for me as something that will bring me to my lowest low.. Hope the grass turns from yellow to green soon!